Day by Day by christene on Blogster

The Holidays brought a lot of mixed emotions this year. I wasn't sure if I would make it through them but knowing the kids depended on me, I needed to be strong. You know, smile at the in-laws, tell them everything is okay. Laugh when everyone else is laughing although you have no reason to laugh with them. There were days when I didn't think it would ever end. A lot of crying. Enough to where my children did notice and made my husband aware of it. My trick was to always go take a shower, let the tears fall, just collapse and hug a wall, who would notice right? Like I said, the kids told the husband and he caught me. He now knows that I am still not dealing with dads death the best. With him being on the road 2-3 weeks at a time, he did say that if I needed him to be here, he would come home. It was a nice gesture but with the economy he needs to stay on the road. Somehow, someway I will manage. Robin isn't doing to well either. I told Robin my next step in trying to manage this is to print pictures of dad and put them around the house. That way when I do open a drawer or an album I am not completely thrown for a loop when I see dad. I ha vent been to his grave site yet. I really want to go, but I am afraid of what my reaction will be. My two other siblings aren't doing to well either. Both of them have turned to alcohol. I have tried to help the sister but she always uses something or someone as a crutch. So I can't say I didn't try. I don't have anything against using alcohol, I like to drink occasionally myself. But thankfully I have chosen not to take the route. Each day is a battle but I manage.

7 comments on Day by Day

ladyofeiesure said 1 years ago
You have my prayers. It is hard to loose a loved one and the holidays are always the hardest. Try to dwell on the "good" things and take it one day at a time. Time does heal. But you will never forget. God Bless!!!![SMILE][THUMBUP][HEART]
christene said 1 years ago
It is hard...it was hard to get through it. What makes it worse is us siblings are at battle. Robin and I disagreed with the actions of the other 2 siblings in the days following dads death. I over the holidays being the eldest offered the olive branch...not sure if I should have after learning that my brother threatened my mother again. He didnt threaten her in a violent way, he used his son as the tool, she will never see him again. [HEART]
ladyspain said 1 years ago
You know, when my mom died, I cried in the shower. Know it well. It was the only place where I could break down and no one noticed or heard. Hang in there.[HEART][HEART][HEART][HEART]
busymichmom said 1 years ago
Hang in there. [HEART] Sometimes it is hour by hour. My thoughts are with you and your sister. [SMILE][HEART][SMILE]
christene said 1 years ago
Thank you...you're right sometimes it is hour by hour. I keep telling myself and the siblings we are not the only ones that have lost a parent, we have to go on. [HEART]
christene said 1 years ago
Thanks...the shower is a great place to cry isnt it? [HEART][HEART]
christene said 1 years ago
this is for ladyspain